You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
