i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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