Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
