Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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