Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
A bitchslap is in order.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
