Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
