Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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