David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
