Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You're like the curious george of whores
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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