Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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