can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
