yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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