are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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