He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
