They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
