in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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