We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize