please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
