I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
