We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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