I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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