He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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