Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
