dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
