Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
