I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
