Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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