when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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