I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
