She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
