But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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