we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
