69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
