i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
