Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
In America we eat man semen.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
