and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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