they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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