and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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