i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
