please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish you could order shots online.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
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