hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
honey bunches of taint.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
