is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
