Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
