Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
