she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
