I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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