Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
