even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
