They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
