We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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