I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
