I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize