oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just had sex bonerless
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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