Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Text me some of your sweat
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
