About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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