If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I need moral support for this bender
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
