I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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