forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize