He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
