is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
