Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
