Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
